10.5: What to Do When You Disagree

What to Do When the School Isn't Helping Your Child

We know how important your child's education is – especially if they have disabilities, learning or behavior challenges, or medical conditions. But what do you do if things aren't going well with their Individualized Education Program (IEP)?

If your child isn’t improving on their goals, making friends, or learning new things each year, they may not be receiving the support they need. But schools have to give all kids a good education for free.

Schools are legally required to provide every child with a disability a free and appropriate public education (FAPE) under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA).

Some parents worry that speaking up or getting outside help might upset the school. But ensuring your child gets the right support is what matters most. If you don’t advocate for them, the school may not provide all the services your child is entitled to. That’s why it can help to have experts on your side.

Steps to Take if You Disagree with the School

If you feel the school isn’t meeting your child’s needs, you have options. Here’s where to start:

  1. Request an IEP Meeting: You can ask for an IEP meeting at any time to discuss your concerns. Be clear about what’s not working and suggest changes. Bring documentation (like progress reports or outside evaluations) to support your requests.
  2. Go to the top: If the IEP team isn’t listening, you can meet with the special education director in your district. Sometimes, a fresh perspective helps resolve issues without filing a formal complaint.
  3. Consider IEP facilitation: Some schools offer IEP facilitation, where a neutral person helps keep the meeting on track. This can help parents and school staff work together more effectively.
  4. Get Support from Parent Training and Information Centers (PTIs): PTIs offer free guidance to parents navigating the special education system. They can help you understand your rights and what steps to take next.
  5. Consider Mediation: Mediation is a way to solve disagreements without going to court. A trained mediator helps both sides talk through the problem and find a solution that works for everyone.
  6. File a State Complaint: If the school isn’t following the IEP or violating special education laws, you can file a state complaint with your state's education agency. The state will investigate and may require the school to fix the issue.
  7. File a Federal Complaint: If your child is facing discrimination under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), you can file a complaint with the Office for Civil Rights or the U.S. Department of Justice.
  8. Work with an Advocate: If things aren’t improving, advocates work with parents to strengthen the IEP,
  9. Work with an attorney before you need to file for due process. They can talk to the school for you – speaking the same language – to make sure your child gets what they need. They can also help you understand your rights and options.
  10. Due Process: The Legal Next Step: If all else fails, due process is a formal way to resolve serious disagreements with the school. This isn’t a lawsuit—it’s a legal process under IDEA where both sides present evidence to a neutral hearing officer. If the school isn’t following the law, the hearing officer can require them to provide the right support. You can find out how to file a due process complaint from your state's education agency.

Here are a few examples of when a parent might file a due process complaint:

    1. If you disagree with your child’s evaluation results regarding their eligibility for special education and related services.
    2. If you believe your child's Individualized Education Program (IEP) doesn’t meet their special education and related service needs.
    3. If you think the school isn't providing your child with the services listed in their IEP. If something is written in the IEP, the school must provide it—this is why you want a detailed IEP!
    4. If you disagree with the school district’s decision about your child's educational placement.

What’s the Difference Between an Advocate and an Attorney?

Parents often wonder if they need an advocate or an attorney when facing IEP issues. Here’s how they differ:

✔ Advocates help parents understand their rights, improve the IEP, draft goals, track progress, and hold the school accountable. They assist in meetings, support documentation, and build relationships with the school team. Many are parents who have gone through the process themselves.

✔ Attorneys step in when the school violates the law—such as refusing services, ignoring evaluations, or placing the child in an unsafe learning environment. They handle legal disputes, due process complaints, and negotiations.

Which One Do You Need?

  • An advocate is a good first step if you're just starting out or need help improving the IEP.
  • If the school breaks the law or refuses services, you may need an attorney to push for change.

Pros and Cons of Hiring an Advocate or Attorney

When facing challenges with your child’s IEP, hiring an advocate or attorney can be helpful—but it’s essential to understand the benefits and drawbacks before deciding what’s best for your family.

Pros of Hiring an Advocate or Attorney

  • Expertise: Advocates and attorneys understand special education laws and can help you navigate the complex IEP process. They know what schools are legally required to provide and can clearly explain your child’s rights.
  • Stronger Advocacy: School districts often respond differently when a trained advocate or attorney is involved. These professionals confidently advocate for your child’s needs, ask the right questions, and hold the school accountable.
  • Legal Protection: If your child isn’t receiving the services listed in their IEP or the school is violating their rights, an attorney can take legal action to ensure compliance. They can also prevent the school from making changes that could negatively impact your child.
  • Negotiation Skills: Both advocates and attorneys have experience working with schools and can negotiate solutions that parents alone might struggle to achieve. They know how to present data, build strong cases, and work towards agreements that benefit the child.
  • Less Stress for Parents: The IEP process can be overwhelming. Having someone by your side to handle the difficult conversations, review documents, and speak on your behalf can relieve pressure on parents.
  • Emotional Support: Advocates, in particular, often have personal experience with the special education system. They understand parents' frustration and emotions and can provide encouragement and reassurance.

Cons of Hiring an Advocate or Attorney

  • Cost: Some advocates charge hourly rates, and attorneys can be expensive—especially if legal action is required. Fees can add up quickly, and in many cases, parents have to pay out of pocket. Some organizations provide free or low-cost advocacy support, but attorneys typically charge high rates.
  • Strained Relationships with the School: Bringing in an outside professional may make some school staff defensive. While many schools work well with advocates, others push back when legal professionals get involved, making meetings tense.
  • Not Guaranteed Success: Even with expert help, there is no guarantee that you’ll get the outcome you want. Due process hearings and legal disputes can be unpredictable, and school districts may still refuse to agree to certain services.
  • Time-consuming Process: Legal steps—such as filing complaints, attending hearings, and gathering documentation—can take months or even years to resolve. The more formal the dispute, the longer it may take to reach a decision.
  • Emotional Toll: Fighting legal battles or holding repeated IEP meetings with the school's resistance can be exhausting. Parents should consider whether they have the energy and patience to endure an extended process.

It’s important to weigh these factors and decide what’s best for your child’s situation.

Hiring an advocate or attorney isn’t about “fighting” the school—it’s about ensuring your child gets what they need to succeed. If the school is unwilling to work with you, taking action may be the only way to protect your child’s education and future.

Remember, you're not alone. There are people who can help you and your child get the education they deserve. Many disability rights organizations provide parent support groups, IEP training, or even direct IEP advocacy.

Learn more

These resources and more can be found on The (Almost) Everything List

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